Oh, baby: Honest Toddler reveals presidential platform

http://twitter.com/#!/jpodhoretz/status/265530242930720770

The Honest Toddler has announced his last-minute candidacy for president and revealed a pretty compelling presidential platform:

If you vote for me tomorrow I will make sure no cat goes unhugged and no dog, unsaddled.

— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) November 5, 2012

I will also force the terrible people at Raisin Bran to cease production effective immediately.

— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) November 5, 2012

I will make quinoa illegal and 10% juice drink (red) will flow through the streets.

— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) November 5, 2012

If you vote for me I will also make Pop Tarts an anytime food.

— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) November 5, 2012

If you vote for me I will keep infants out of the park and off the streets. That is my promise.

— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) November 5, 2012

If you vote for me I will make dippin dots a side dish in every home.

— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) November 5, 2012

If you vote for me I will do what no president has done and *take care* of Ruby. I will set Max free once and for all!

— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) November 5, 2012

I will give Oscar a home and find Big Bird a forever family.

— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) November 5, 2012

Everyone who votes for me will get a balloon, pack of gum, and nunchucks.

— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) November 5, 2012

Sweet!

If this run proves fruitless, we hope that President Romney will have some room for this kid in his cabinet.

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/11/05/oh-baby-honest-toddler-reveals-presidential-platform/

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